you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
soo... how was my night?
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