Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
