don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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