yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize