She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Please don't give away my fajitas
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
