The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
