It's a beautiful day for a hangover
should my penis look like a turkey
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
