does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
