So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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