508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
