I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
