So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
love makes seman taste better
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
