if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i now understand why vodka
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
