I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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