Your tits are I can't wait for
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
