I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
