I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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