You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
