We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
