and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
