i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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