Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
