Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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