You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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