My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
