i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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