saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
