Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
