Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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