Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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