you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
