I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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