Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize