dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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