Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
