"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
