Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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