whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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