I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
