Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
