I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize