You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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