Me too!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
