If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
