The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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