I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
