u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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