You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
