So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
