Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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