Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
