my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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