dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What did we do last night that was yellow?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just want nice things and good sex
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
