i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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