I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize