He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
as a side note pls kill me
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