I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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