Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize