i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize