I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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