no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
