I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
