just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
