you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
