Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize