I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
