Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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