just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
