I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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