And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
